Happily Ever Afters

  I love reading paranormal romances, in fact I read little else.  I love everything about them; the cool preternatural abilities, the immortality of many characters, the vamps and shape-shifters (Go Team Jacob-lol!), the physical beauty of the characters, and the ability to miraculously get out of a really sticky situation.  I love the escapism offered by the genre, the ability to lose yourself completely in another world.  For me, it’s a mini-vacation from the stress of the real world where duties, deadlines, and physical limitations hang over our heads like the swinging blade of a pendulum.  However, I do admit that sometimes I become annoyed with reading repetitive pronouncements regarding the heroine’s stupefying beauty.  Sometimes I just want to yell out loud, “Okay we get it-she’s gorgeous!  Can we move on now?  Sheesh!”  Doesn’t leave much love left for either the ugly or mediocre-looking chick now does it?

  Do you tweet?  I do.  (How’s that for a segue folks? Lol!)  Not long ago I became aware of a group of folks on Twitter who call them selves “Spoonies”.  The Urban Dictionary delivers an excellent explanation of what a Spoonie is:

   “A person living with chronic illness, that identifies with Christine Miserandino's Spoon Theory.  Spoonies are people that live with chronic illness; theoretically measuring personal daily abilities much as one would measure the proper amount of spoons needed for an event or occasion... sometimes having an abundance, other times coming up short.”

  Christine suffers from an autoimmune illness called Lupus.  It’s a chronic inflammatory disorder where your own body attacks itself because it can’t tell the difference between “you” protein and “foreign” protein.  It’s your immunity become amnesiac, and begins attacking itself.  Many organs become involved and the disorder causes a high amount of fatigue.  There are many other autoimmune disorders that have similar patterns.  In my case, my body produces antibodies against my own moisture-producing glands such as salivary and tear glands. I have constant dry mouth, chronic dental issues, and eye problems.  There is also a large arthritic component involved to boot.  Because of this disorder, I now am 40% more likely to develop lymphoma than Jane Q. Public.  My disorder is called Sjogren’s Syndrome and as a sufferer I am all too familiar with the daily “spoon shortage”. 

  I have developed a tight online relationship with my spoonie brethren on Twitter.  We all support one another, sharing in our sorrows, challenges and successes.  They make me laugh and encourage me, and I try to do the same for them.  

  

  Lately I have been thinking a lot about happily ever afters.  Shortly after I became ensconced in the spoonie world, I began to wonder, where are the HEA’s for my spoonie friends and everyone else who has to deal with constant challenges?  Does that mean HEAs have to be perfect - as the devastatingly beautiful physical perfection of heroines always seem to be?  Yes, in fact I DO think too much!  

  Five years ago I lost both of my parents two weeks apart from mutually exclusive causes.  It was devastating - the most vivid experience of hell I had ever encountered.  I got through it because I had my husband at my side, in addition to loving and supportive family and friends.  My husband was and still is, my happily ever after.  It wasn’t a perfect scenario by any stretch, but if I had to endure that degree of trauma, I would not have chosen anyone but him to be at my side.  Because of that, I have decided that for me happily ever after does not equal “problem-free”, it means, “we can get through it together”.  I once heard that real love isn’t merely looking into each other’s eyes, but looking in the same direction together.  I really like that. 

My folks, Dominic and Mary Ann Nicoletto on my wedding day.

  So, I’m interested in hearing your opinion of what constitutes a perfect HEA for you.  Does life have to be perfect in every way in your scenario?  Enquiring minds want to know!

  Please take the time to read Christine Miserandino’s personal story and analogy of what it is like to live with sickness or disability:

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/